10-16-09 – Invisible Monsters

More and more survivors are becoming ill. I don’t know if Ted was right, if it’s coming from the water or from something else. Maybe some of the food has gone rancid, and we’re all in a panic trying to track down the source, the cause.

I feel now as our ancestors must have felt at the beginning, that water is the greatest of treasures, the mother nurturing the cradle of life. Water, the most valuable possession on our planet, the thing that sustains us, fuels us, helps us grow – it is now come under suspicion. And to think, to even entertain the thought that we are not safe, that we are being poisoned even now by our own foolishness, our ignorance, makes me shiver with fear. I feel fine, most of us do, but those that are ill wail and wail all day long, singing their suffering to the rest of us, making us feel guilty for having our health.

How could I leave this place? And yet, how can we stay? I look at Evan and Mikey, boys who have barely begun to understand the world – are we endangering them just by spending another day in this crowded, surging, bulging refugee camp? The survivors arrive in a constant stream, not always a strong current, sometimes only a trickle, but constant nonetheless. They are straining our resources, no, the resources are for them too, but soon the supplies will be spread so thin that no one will have much of anything.

I boil my water twice, sometimes three times before drinking it and after every sip I begin to feel sick, not from illness but from fear.

Poisoned. Poisoned from the inside out… I will not let that be my fate, not after so many days of hard-won survival. I will devise a plan, a solution, no matter how many hours of sleep I must lose, or meals I must skip. This is our fortress, our safe-haven and a threat is a threat whether it comes from outside or within.

4 Responses to “10-16-09 – Invisible Monsters”

  1. I just updated my own blog, Allison. I wish I could give you some of the bottled water we got from the market, but there’s a few states in the way. Keep persevering, hon. We’re all in this together, right?

    Here’s my post about our first supply run: http://somehowstillalive.wordpress.com/1010-recap/

  2. Dave in the Midwest Says:

    With provisions gone, there isn’t a lot left for me. My son… my poor son… I never thought he would survive this long after becoming infected. I realize now that I won’t live to see him saved. I can only hope that someone else will save my boy.

    Everyone wants to be the survivor. Everyone imagines that they are the one that will make it to the end and watch the sunset. I used to think love was the strongest emotion but I was wrong. I’ve found a much stronger emotion: Resolve.

    Once I realized what I needed to do, it became very easy to finalize my plans. As I mentioned, there isn’t anything left anymore. No more food. No more water. Just the persistent angry moaning of my son and the gnawing knowledge of my failures grinding at my brain.

    There aren’t many people that will truly understand what I have to do, but I have to give my son every chance to live long enough for someone to find a cure. Maybe if he’s the strongest of the infected. Maybe if he can live the longest he will have a chance to be cured. Since I am lost, I can only hope my gift to him will give him that chance.

    Please. Find a cure. Find a way to save my son. Don’t let my sacrifice be an empty one.

    I do not hesitate anymore. I will release my son and let him draw strength from my body. Thank you all for fighting on.

    Signing off forever,

    Dave in the Midwest

  3. Oh Dave you impossible fool. That’s not how it works, you idiot. They don’t consume and digest, they consume because it’s an imperative. This isn’t a video game, they don’t get new zombie powers for each consumed person. You speak as if there is a cure for death. That is what those infected already essentially are. It’s real hard to come back from your flesh hanging off the bone and your brain exposed. Real hard.

    There is no miracle fix. We’re looking at prevention, an inoculation against whatever the fuck weird little member of the microcosm is doing this efficient degradation of healthy cells. If I wasn’t on the East Coast, I might have had time and presence of mind to attempt to sway your foolhardy antics. But your post says 5:37, my clock reads 3:01. So you’re probably already dead. I’m gonna make sure as many people as possible see that sunset, even if it turns my mind to a fine gel. What the fuck is real anymore, it seems the natural order of things is turned on it’s head and then thrown out the door. Do you people understand what this will do to the ecosystems of the planet?

    Nothing eats zombies, zombies eat everything. The food chain has giant gaps now. The balance of nature will fall into disarray, the whole fucking thing will come crashing down around our ears if we don’t do something, really, really soon. And if what that guy said about that zombie moose was right, God help the guys in Africa dealing with zombie rhinos. This isn’t just a matter of personal survival anymore. If we sit by and wait it out, we’re not gonna come to live in a zombie free world. They’ve already ruined it. We’re gonna open the doors to a dead planet. There had better be government scientists in an underground bunker somewhere working this out, cause I sure as hell can’t see the positive outcome. But hey, what’ve we got to lose. PRESS ON! Strive for life. Maybe we’ll get to see some rapid Darwinian evolution. Zombie eating beetle. Like a scarab that eats the dead, or undead, or whatever. Maybe nature knows what it’s doing, but we have no clue whatsoever….

  4. Seattle is forsaken. I used to discuss with my wife what we’d do if we ever had to leave the city quickly. From my time in the military I knew what had to be in our dash bag. I grab my usb drives, on them our pics and music, videos of our son and our life together.

    I could hear them morning outside our town home. My wife was in a state of disbelief. I was frantically getting ready and she was working on getting our son ready to go. I’m just glad that these days I keep the car gassed up.

    I haer them pounding on our garage door. It won’t last much longer. I’m going over everything in my head and want to go back and grab a few things. I hear a window break beyond my garage door back to the house. There’s no time.

    From her car we grab a few things and I leave a burning rag in the fuel door of her Hyundai. My wife, with a remarkable presense of mind, takes out the camera and starts snapping away as I prepare to drive away.

    I rev the engine and back though the garage door. I then see that all our neighbors are dead. There on the ground is the cop who lives across from us. I see three of them feasting on his entrails.

    I want his gun, could be handy.

    I take out my by bat which I keep in the front seat and proceed to attack them. My wife is screaming at me to come back. I yell for her to shut up. Our yelling alerts more of them.

    My son is crying. I’ve got the gun now.

    I scream into my mind. Pulling up every hard learned lesson at the range. BRASS.

    Breath
    Relax
    Aim
    Squeeze
    Shoot

    I can hear my heart slow and my breath hitch in my throat as I take aim.
    POP!
    Tango one down.
    POP! POP!
    Shit! Wasted a round on Tango two.
    POP!
    One for Tango three.
    Got to get moving!

    I see a box of ammo in my neighbor’s garage. I decide to chance it.
    Bad choice.
    Inside the garage is his 16 year old daughter almost fully turned.

    Is it murder to kill one who is unsavable?

    I decide that her life isn’t mine to take and grab the ammo.

    In the seconds I took to do this my wife and son are surrounded. Their wails burn on my mind.

    I empty the clip as the mass.

    Not many go down.
    Shit! Get ahold of yourself!

    With near mechanical precision I drop the empty clip (but stick it the ammo bag I grabbed and start picking off targets.

    Soon I can make my way to the car.

    My wife is a mess. I hope she calms down soon.

    We drive off.

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